


Come Back Home

by Okami01



Series: Dimilix Week 2021 [4]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Arguing, Canon Compliant, Felix Hugo Fraldarius is Bad at Feelings, Feral Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Post-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:47:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29539122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okami01/pseuds/Okami01
Summary: Felix knew Dimitri was alive. He had to be. Or Felix hoped. But of that were the case then why wouldn't Dimitri have come back sooner?For Dimilix2021 - Day 5 Home/ Scars
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: Dimilix Week 2021 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163501
Kudos: 1
Collections: 2021 Dimilix Week





	Come Back Home

No matter what Felix does, it seems that he can't escape the boar.

Felix thought he'd died. That the beast who called himself Dimitri and shared his face would turn into nothing but a bitter memory.

Felix had been wrong then. Maybe it was a mistake to go to Garreg Mach in the first place. But he had no intention of not doing something simply because Dimitri was there.

He wasn't afraid. Of the fighting. The violence and battles. Not going to a school that could make him better at fighting wasn't going to make him any less afraid either. He'd had to go.

Even if he had to look and see Dimitri everywhere he went.

Even if he had to be constantly reminded of their more happy peaceful times together. 

Felix would be fine.

_

Things got worse. Dimitri died. Truly this time. Executed for treason. 

Edelgard attacked. Suddenly, school was put on hold and Felix found himself and his remaining allies in court and in battle. Homework assignments didn't mean much of anything when you're people were in danger Though, after learning battle tactics and new fighting techniques, the school year wasn't a complete waste. 

Years past. Edelgard fought Leicester and Faerghus both. Internal warfare, coups, and turncoats weakened their kingdom's stance. 

Felix has never been one to care about honor or duty. But hearing of all the soldiers who turned on him, putting his friends and danger made him sick. He could understand Edelgard's reasons. Almost imagine a world where he'd joined her. Yet, this was the road he'd taken. Defending the border, cutting through with his sword. 

And in the back of Felix's mind, he knew Dimitri was alive. Found that he wanted him to be.

Years passed. Blurred together. When Felix found time to sleep he was either so tired he couldn't dream or plagued with nightmares. 

He kept up with political affairs, read the news, looked off into the cold Faerghus wilds. If Dimitri was alive, wounded somewhere, he wasn't anywhere that Felix could find him. It was a mad thought. But Dimitri had always been strong, seemingly incapable of dying. Felix had to.be strong too. He hoped but even that emotion started to feel numb in his mind. 

The war went on.

After five years passed, the professor reappeared. 

And there was Dimitri. 

And last time, he'd had that veneer of a prince. Smiling and bowing and apologizing. 

He did no such thing now. Dimitri truly was some sort of wild monster. Snapping and muttering about revenge. Going on and on about cutting down Edelgard. As if the Kingdom wasn't crumbling around them all.

As if Felix's hope that Dimitri was alive had to be answered in the worst possible way. He'd told himself Dimitri was gone. The one that he'd used to love. Even Dimitri from when they'd gone to school together. But it was this wounded, lost violent boar instead.

Felix watched him anyway. He hoped he wouldn't stay like this forever. Without even a care for any of his friends. 

Felix. hadn't abandoned his allies. Hadn't let his own personal struggles get in the way of keeping them alive. Felix had taken up a sword and he hadn't put it down and he wouldn't stop no matter how bleak the odds. What else was there to do but fight. They couldn't live if they didn't fight.

The professor being back might have made them a more organized war front. Taking over the monastery might have been a good strategic choice. Though it brought back painful memories. 

Felix shoved all of that down and forgot about it. 

Dimitri's strength made a difference on the battlefield, but for how long? It was going to get him killed. Reckless and wild. Heedless to any of his injuries. Felix shouldn't care. 

He followed Dimitri to the ruined chapel anyway. 

Crumbled and broken just like Dimitri seemed. 

He wasn't eating, not that Felix could tell truly. But what could he be eaten to keep himself alive? He was barely sleeping. Only once did Felix see him close his eye, then jolt awake soon after. He spoke to his ghosts. Spoke of using the Blue Lions to achieve his revenge-driven goals.

Already, the number of times Felix had seen him tearing through his foes. Slicing through flesh and bone. Splattered in blood. He'd lost his eye, gained cuts and scars. At least Felix knew they were there under that heavy grungy armor of his.

He hated to be healed. To rest. He wandered around the monastery like a ghost and sometimes, Felix would have been convinced he was one. Only that everyone else could see him.

Felix would never talk to ghosts. 

If Dedue were here, he could have helped. And how bad a situation had it been that Dimitri had left Dedue? Dimitri never spoke of it.

Felix swallowed his pride and asked the professor to help. Dimitri always used to listen to her. And it took Byleth, Gilbert, and Rodrigue to convince Dimitri not to storm Enbarr like some blood-crazed fool. 

And even then. Dimitri was still a fool. 

Charging into battle. Not taking heed of his injuries or strategy. His crest gave him power. He'd always been ridiculously strong. But there may come a day when it isn't enough. 

It was after a battle where Annette had tried to heal him. A battle against the neverending stream of Adrestain soldiers. Because they're their enemies but at least they have a competent leader. 

Who doesn't nearly let his allies die when they try to save him.

Felix followed him to the cathedral. Before, he'd only been watching Dimitri, trying to make sure he didn't do anything else moronic, injure anyone or wander off into the night. He was here now. They were all going to see this out to the end. Though perhaps it would be better to let him go. He'd lived in the wilds, or underground. Like this, on the battlefield, he truly may die. 

Felix needed to do something. 

But Felix wasn't patent like Dedue. Or disgustingly polite like his father. Or a people-pleasing fool like Gilbert.

Felix was tired and cut and bloody. And if Dimitri put his own life at risk or Felix's then it was fine. Felix could make his own decisions.

Everyone else was a different story. If pity for Dimitri is going to get one of them killed… it cannot happen. 

" What is wrong with you?" Felix shouts now, stepping out from behind the pillar. His whole body tensing for a fight.   
" Tell me boar, are you so short-sighted that you can't tell what you're doing is madness?" I shouldn't be surprised." Felix scoffs 

Can Dimitri even hear him? His back is turned. But he tenses and slowly turns around. His face twisted in that cruel smile of his. That cold blue eye.

" Why did you come here, Felix?"

His name on the boar's tongue is like some sort of poison. And for a moment, Felix can think back to when Dimitri used to call him fondly. When they actually used to smile just because they could. 

Felix doesn't want to hear it.

" Why did you come here, boar. If only to get us all killed. Stop it now."

He steps forward. Shouting when it would be easier to fight. To leave actually. Talking to Dimitri isn't going to help. He keeps going anyway. 

" You can't do that. If you only care about yourself then go fight by yourself. Why now? Did you come back? If you were alive you could have come back years ago. Do you think my father wouldn't have welcomed you back? That I-"

"-Not… not that you would have deserved it… for all that you've done." 

But it isn't Dimitri's fault he was framed for murder. That Felix couldn't do anything to stop it. They've all fought and killed but Felix knows. Or at least he thinks he knows. 

They used to play together in the woods. If Dimitri managed to survive in Fodlan for five years who could have damn well come back to Felix. Back to Faerghus. Fraldarius. Or Gautier or anywhere. 

The Blue Lions had never turned on him. Never said they would use Dimitri until his flesh fell off his bones. Dimitri was another story.

" Until I kill that woman, it does not matter what I deserve."

Felix clenches his fist. He wants to punch Dimitri. Rid himself of any lingering attachment. He knows he shouldn't have said what he said. But things are already so bad. 

He doesn't know what he should say. 

He bites his lip. But it was already cut from the battle. Blood on his lips. How often has he bled for Dimitri and cried for him? Hoped that the Empire was spreading lies. That fate was too cruel.

Dimitri couldn't truly be dead. As much as Felix said he was gone. He shouldn't be that easy to kill. He never has been. 

And if that were the case, what good was his brother's death. Every soldier who sacrificed their lives during the war. Those people during the rebellion that Dimitri had slaughtered. 

Annette in the infirmary for trying to heal Dimitri during the battle. His careless mistakes. Dedue killed. Rodrigue injured stealing that goddess forsaken lance Areadbhar. 

The professor is making him stay here. If not, he'd charge back into battle. Bloodied and crazed. 

" I can't stand it," Felix mutters. " You'd come back for her, over some dumb promise. You'd-"

What is wrong with him? Why is he saying these things?

Dimitri stares down at him. He's gotten even taller and larger. Stronger too, mostly because of his crest. Felix needs to see if he's only skin and bones. He must be, living out in the wild for so long.

Dimitri is right in front of Felix. But with the way that the boar acts, Felix may as well be another ghost. A tool to be used.

Dimitri talks to him quietly, a hint of malice behind eerie detachment.   
" You came back as well Felix." 

Felix hates that Dimitri's right. Hates him so much. Hates that he doesn't hate him even more. 

" I knew," Felix growls feeling out of control all over again. Or perhaps he was never in control to begin with. 

" I knew you'd come back. If you were alive. No honor or pretend politeness anymore but you're still a fool."

Dimitri sneers at him. Felix wants to punch him. He wants to scream and cry but nothing will make a difference anyway. 

" I suppose that you're a fool too. Following me like this."

Felix is tired and frustrated. But above all, he's weak. He's always been weak for Dimitri much as he tries not to be. Much as he denies it. 

He draws his sword. Dimitri does not flinch. 

Does a part of him want to be struck down? Put out of his misery? Felix wants to throw up. 

Neither of them is known for acts of mercy anymore. Felix doesn't know if he could do it if that's what it came to. It won't. It can't. 

" Boar," Felix growls. Puts as much authority in his voice as he can, hides his trembling. 

" I want- " you to be okay. To live. He can't say what he wants. Orders instead. Because his father won't and everyone is either afraid or too nice to do something. "You need to eat. I don't care that you want to live like a wild animal. Or if you're crest protected you-" when I couldn't. "If you fade away then," what am I supposed to do? " How… how will you get your revenge."

He pulls a piece of wrapped-up roasted fish out of his pocket. A small waterskin that dangles on his arm. Shoves it forward. 

Dimitri's hand hovers just over his. Still wearing those stupid gauntlets. He smiles cruelly. 

" You're shaking, Felix," Dimitri states, still regarding him with his cold blue eye. " Do I frighten you? And even still… you believe that you can order me around?" 

He laughs. Bitter and humorously. His eye gets glassy. He pauses and frowns." I do not think that Glenn would want-"

Felix bristles. His eyes are wet. " Shut up! Eat and talk to your ghosts and leave me alone." He throws the food down and he turns away, Dimitri makes no effort to stop him.

" If you get us all killed, boar, you'll regret it."

There isn't anything he can do. Because as long as Dimitri is around, as long as he's weak and their never-ending battles with the empire continue, he'll follow Dimitri.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Dimilix Week! Thanks for reading. 
> 
> Well usually I write nonsensical fluff or smut. I don't write a lot of really sad angst and I'm to much of a weeny to write crimson flower Dimilix so take Dimilix not communicating well. 
> 
> @Tavitay on twitter


End file.
